New Thought Movement UK

"It is time for change and change begins with you"

Leave a comment

Don’t Try to Run Away from your Self…

I met this photographer about two years ago, and if I search my mind, I can pinpoint the exact date and time. I heard his story and I felt an instant connection. I felt that he had come into my life to help me. I took the business cards he gave me. He gave me about five. I never forgot them because they were the only business cards I had seen made from plastic, that you can see through. When I called him he said, “you need a video for your book.” It’s going to cost you X$ and you need to do this, that and the other. I thought about it and became petrified. I had to do all this, step out of my comfort zone, do something I never did before, get people I never met before to do things for me? It was frightening. So, I called him and said, “I change my mind, I will sort this out myself.” I did not communicate with him for more than a year, but I always remember his name and his story.
When I finally stopped being afraid, and knew it was now, or never, I went back to him to get some professional photos done for my website. I went to pick them up, and I hated them. And while I was busy convincing myself, that I was not afraid, I cancelled the photos and told him to delete them. I did not even care about the sixty-two pounds, I had already paid. I would do this myself.
Then he sent me a text. It went like this, “so you’re running away once again. You wanted to look like someone else, and that’s what we did. You wanted us to make you look rich, and pretty, like Lisa Nichols, so that’s what we did.”
And then I became afraid, of being afraid, of repeating the patterns that had kept me back all my life. So, in desperation I called and rescheduled my shoot. I said, “I do not want to look like anyone else, not even the celebrity photo, I showed you. I just want to be me. I am beautiful, and I am rich, so you don’t have to make me look any other way”

You see, if God, the creator wanted the Beyoncé experience he would go to Beyoncé. He came to you because he wanted your experience. Any type of Beyoncé you can be, will be a fake, a copy, an imitation. But you are the original, the authentic, and the new experience.
Most of us stop being ourselves, we stop being who we are, and who we can be, we stop doing what we came to do, because we are so afraid. Fear stops us in our tracks. But when we get out of fear, we see the utter magnificence of who we really are, and who we can be.

So, after the photo shoot we did the video, I tried to run away from two years ago.

Don’t try to run away from yourself, for it will chase you to hell, and back.

Joyce Louison – Warrior of light
New Thought Movement UK

Leave a comment

Yesterday I was angry with God…

Yesterday, I was angry with God. I thought, why must it be so hard? Is it because I am black, or is it because I am a woman?
And I know that this is not so. Because God does not reward, nor punish people, neither with good, nor with bad. Neither does God punish our enemies on our behalf.
We attract to ourselves, all that we experience.
And some may say, “well you can say that, because you always seem to have something to be grateful for in your Gratitude Journal.” And I would tell them, “I remember the day I spent eight hours in meditation, deciding whether I wanted to be a successful failure, whether I wanted to call up on all my “bad” experiences, my childhood, and make it my life story. I did not! Because I would be living a lie.
When they told me, that as a child I use to wash a basin of clothes by myself, and that I was abused, I did not remember that. What I remembered was, washing a basin of clothes by myself, and listening to the release of Nelson Mandela on my Walkman while tears of joy streamed down my face. That is what I remember, and I would not give that experience up, for a million dollars. Well, maybe one million.
When they told me that I use to eat half a chicken wing as my dinner, and that was unfair, I did not remember that. What I remembered was skipping, not walking or running, up the road to buy one pound of chicken-backs, and having just enough, to buy a chocolate bonbon biscuit, which I enjoyed to the fullest. Then skipping back home, singing, then picking every leaf in the back yard, green bananas, breadfruit and limes from the garden to make the most awesome meals. I would not give up the fact that I have learnt to cook like any master chef for a million dollars. Well, maybe if it was a direct debit.

dsc_7258When I did not see, or speak to my mother, for seven years, such that I could not even call her mommy, on her reappearance in my life, I was supposed to be sad, to be damaged, to never forgive or forget. But all I remembered was, me having imaginary concerts in the backyard, by myself, singing and dancing with the trees, to vintage Soca and conscious reggae. I would not give up the blessing of having an open mind, not hampered by parental influence, for a million dollars. Well, maybe if it was in cash.

When I did not grow up with my father, I was supposed to be damaged. I should have had daddy issues, but I did not. I could not claim that, and not be living a lie. Because even though I have seen my father for a handful of days in my life, and spoken to him even less, I learnt from him one of the greatest lessons of my life. I learnt that I had to take care of myself and not to depend on another to do that. That, is a million-dollar lesson.
When my friend Andrea Marcellin and I use to feed all the members of our church on Sundays, and stay without food, because there was not enough, I should have felt hungry, depressed and poor. But I did not. I remembered the joy of peeping to see everyone clean off their plates, then chatting and laughing until evening service. Would I give that up for one million? Well, maybe if it was a bank transfer.
I should have developed an inferiority complex when they told me that I was neglected. When they said your mother should have taken you to the dentist. But I did not feel that way, even though I never smiled through school, it never stop me finding love. I have been blessed to have been in love and to have been loved. So, I cannot give up my experiences and claim to have a sad story. Because I do not.
Even though they say, “sad story sells,” I have been happy. With the little I’ve had, I have been happy. Many people try to get rich in the hope of gaining happiness, only to realise that money cannot buy happiness. So, when you have happiness, be careful how much you accept, in return for your happiness.
We have come to life to gain experiences, to live, and to be happy, if you have that, you are already half way there. Rise above your sad stories, leave them behind, do yourself a favour, and be happy. It is the best gift, you can give to yourself and the best offering, you can bring to your God.

Joyce Louison (Always Grateful)
New Thought Movement UK