When I finally stopped being afraid, and knew it was now, or never, I went back to him to get some professional photos done for my website. I went to pick them up, and I hated them. And while I was busy convincing myself, that I was not afraid, I cancelled the photos and told him to delete them. I did not even care about the sixty-two pounds, I had already paid. I would do this myself.
Then he sent me a text. It went like this, “so you’re running away once again. You wanted to look like someone else, and that’s what we did. You wanted us to make you look rich, and pretty, like Lisa Nichols, so that’s what we did.”
And then I became afraid, of being afraid, of repeating the patterns that had kept me back all my life. So, in desperation I called and rescheduled my shoot. I said, “I do not want to look like anyone else, not even the celebrity photo, I showed you. I just want to be me. I am beautiful, and I am rich, so you don’t have to make me look any other way”
You see, if God, the creator wanted the Beyoncé experience he would go to Beyoncé. He came to you because he wanted your experience. Any type of Beyoncé you can be, will be a fake, a copy, an imitation. But you are the original, the authentic, and the new experience.
Most of us stop being ourselves, we stop being who we are, and who we can be, we stop doing what we came to do, because we are so afraid. Fear stops us in our tracks. But when we get out of fear, we see the utter magnificence of who we really are, and who we can be.
So, after the photo shoot we did the video, I tried to run away from two years ago.
Don’t try to run away from yourself, for it will chase you to hell, and back.